Meet Danielle

Danielle is a local Rolleston resident and has opened up to share her journey as a family member with cancer. Her brother was diagnosed with lung cancer. Here’s her story:

Talking with Danielle:

What was the means of treatments and/or of fighting the cancer?

My brother was diagnosed and within two weeks he was hospitalised. Surgery was needed and after surgery he was in ICU until he passed on.

What was your initial thoughts and feelings when you heard the news?

I was mostly in disbelief and was just hoping that he would return home to us again.

How did your family respond?

Everyone dealt with the news differently. Emotions and reactions were all over the place.

How did the cancer or the treatments effect those around you?

It was a very hard time for all of us and to see him in so much pain was horrible.

How long did the battle continue?

We found out that my brother had cancer two weeks later he was hospitalised. He had surgery done and spent a few weeks in ICU. Everything happened so fast. Within two months of finding out he was no longer with us.

Did you notice a change as the battle continued? If so, what changes?

What started out as a lump on his chest. Grew so fast and coursed his one lung to collapse. He was hospitalised and started losing function of his limbs. After surgery he was unable to communicate.

What did you find most helpful during this time?

Everyone who was covering us in prayer. Trusting that God is in control.

What is something you would like others to know about someone struggling with cancer?

So many people are dealing with so many things so be kind, patient and genuine.

How has cancer changed you as a person?

Cancer has made me realise how fast your life as you know it can change.

If you could go back and change anything, what would you do different?

I would have spent more time with him and told him more often how much I love him…I was working and studying at the time. Didn’t get to see him as often as I wanted at the time I thought he would recover after the surgery and come back home…

What advice would you give someone who wants to help a family going through cancer?

Take lots of pictures and spend more time with your loved ones. Be present and intentional.

Do you have anything else you would like to add?

My brother was only 30 when he passed and when I turn 30 I realized how many people had so many plans and things that they wanted to do. He was the kind of guy that if he had said something he would do it. Everything he did was what seemed to be in a hurry. He was always busy with something and going somewhere. He was the oldest of 7 children and my parents only son leaving behind 6 younger sisters.

What is something you wish you had known before?

While going through this experience I found it hard to talk about what happened only after a few years I could share our experience. Healing can come from sharing your experience. It helps you to understand the you are not alone.

What is something you are thankful for?

I’m thankful for the fact that he was able to recommit to the Lord. My mum had the privilege of praying with and for him. He knew that he needed Jesus and asked my mum to pray for him. This happened when he was hospitalized and just before the surgery. After the surgery he could no longer speak and spent his last few weeks in ICU..

Danielle, thank you for opening up and sharing–you are certainly not alone! There are many who have struggled to see their loved ones suffer, and others may benefit from knowing how to walk along with their families in the future.

Being patient with each person and listening to learn more about individual situations will help us to know how to best help to support others as they care for their families in time of cancer. And of course, an offer for a meal or a help to clean would probably be good too!